School is almost over! I can't believe I will be a sophomore so soon, it is so crazy. My schedule has been packed with tennis lessons, lacrosse, studying for finals, and planning some upcoming vacations. This year has definitely has had its highs and lows. Throughout this year, I have learned a bit more about myself and what I want to accomplish over the next couple of years.
1 // Being Alone is Okay
Both semesters I didn't have many classes with any of my friends, but even worse was when I didn't know anyone. I found myself constantly sitting alone in the corner trying to hide away. For this first couple of months, it was hard, and I found myself not focusing on what really mattered - schoolwork. Later on in February, I realized that it is fine to sit alone in class. A month later, a bunch of my friends were on a field trip, so I ate lunch alone. It was the most productive lunch I had this year. I got to study for an upcoming French test, and I beat 3 levels of Candy Crush. I mean sure, it sucks to be seen as that person eating lunch alone, but it is ok. After that awareness in February, I got my grades from a B to an A and became a better student. Overall, sitting alone in class is sometimes the better option.
2 // Be the First to say Hello
Throughout the year, I've had many tryouts in random places with random people. It was definitely
a struggle, since I am not the most outgoing person. After making a local club lacrosse team, I didn't know anyone at all! All the girls on my team went to completely different schools, lived in different towns, but they still all knew each other. At first it was awkward because I was on the outside of this clique. About a month into the season, I was over not talking to anyone during practice, so I decided to introduce myself. In the end, I befriended a bunch of new people from all over the place. Taking that extra step to say hello is worth it, because, in the end, they are probably just as shy as you are.
3 //
Ignore the Idiots
The thing I love most about writing is that you can let all your emotions run wild. This year, I lost some friends, but also made new ones. In the past, I have had some friends troubles, but have just overcome them. This year was also a year of cleaning the closet of friends. People change, which everyone just needs to accept. I had trouble letting go of some close relationships over the past year, even though they were hurting me. Some friends changed gradually, but others were just a bombshell. Recently, I had been hurt by some people I have known all my lifetime, who I though were by my side. I was sobbing all that night, thinking why this would happen to me. I came to the conclusion that I need to just let go and ignore. It is hard, trust me I know, but just keep that mind set that you deserve better.
4 //
Rejection isn't that bad
No. Two letters. One word. Everyone hates and fears it. From a young age, no was a word I dreaded to hear. I hate being rejected by peers, adults, and people in general. In addition, I would take it way too personally causing me to be an emotional disaster. The beginning of freshman year, all the girls in my grade were freaking out about a dance that was in winter. All the girls had to ask a guy, but since everyone was panicking one girl asked someone on the second day of school. This one girl caused every girl in the ninth grade to ask someone to a dance in December in September. To sum up the whole experience - it was awful. I asked 2 guys who just flat out said, "umm maybe," which, in boy code, means no. I was devastated, upset, and horrified. After 2 months I finally got a date, but the whole process was a catastrophe. Then I came to the realization that all they said was no. It wasn't that bad, and it could've been worse. From that day on, I ask people for their opinion and when they said no, I don't take it personally. Instead, I just let it slide off my shoulder and focus on what really matters.
5 //
Procrastination is not the key
I forget many things if I don't jot them down on a piece of paper or in my iPhone. Also, I find myself to be very lazy on Saturdays and Sundays. On the weekends, I find myself never doing any homework till sunday afternoon/night. For a majority of the year, I was complaining and stressing out on Sunday nights. This led to Mondays being even worse than they already are. I found myself drowning in piles and piles of work, which led to me not being able to see my floor. About a month ago, I had nothing to do Friday afternoon so I did all my work that night. I had a happy and care free weekend ahead of me and boy did I enjoy it. I started trying to do all my homework early in the weekend and not to save it for the end. This is a life lesson that will last you your whole life, don't save something till the very end.
What have you learned this year?
xx, CMK
